Update/Slight Rant

I take this time, while I relax in the bath to write a update on my life.
Only because you’re so interested, right? ;)

Life’s been pretty good.
My husband is gaining respect and validation in his leadership skills at work. He’s changing the mold and makeup of the work done and is improving the store he is in. Which happens to be one of the worse stores in shape in the area. The pats on the back he has been receiving have greatly encouraged him. The progression he has made can only improve our life style.

Both my daughters are excelling at school.
Apple constantly gets praise, and I’m told though she is a quiet child she always knows the answers when asked and is one of the brightest in the class.
This greatly encourages me as I feel I haven’t properly worked with her the way I work (educationally) with her big sister. I’m very pleased with her. We continue to work with her shyness and ability to talk to people.

Sparrow is second in her class. Though this might seem extremely good, and it is, she’s been getting in trouble as of late. Apparently she believes she knows all the answers and believes all this stuff she’s been given to learn is too easy for her. “I’ve learned that last year!” This has caused her to be distracting and even disruptive in class as she finishes ahead of everyone else. Except in art, as her teacher explained that she is painfully detailed when it comes to art projects and tends to still be working on it when others have finished. I, personally, am elated with this.
She loves her Girl Scout troop and along with her cousin has already received two badges for their efforts in participation.
Sparrow has lost a little love for piano, as her daddy was a bit of a nazi with her about it. Sigh, musicians.
However, we have backed off a bit and she seems to be getting back on track.

In her choir class we are told how bright she is and that she often knows the answers and wins points for her team. (Sparrow tells me her her teams always win) She loves choir. I can’t get her to stop singing.
Both girls do exceptional work with their Bible study class and have earned several badges for their memorization skills. This, I am most pleased with.

I am doing most well. Still having issues finding ‘couple time’ for me and my man as we are both so preoccupied. This however needs to be resolved as our relationship is the foundation of our family. We are still trying to work around it with what is a compromise for both of our time schedules.

Work is good. I mean really good!
My photography has had return clients and first time clients. It’s extremely exciting when you receive work from someone you have no social connection with and somehow validates your work even more.
I am thrilled and give all the praise to God who gave me the talent and more than not lifted me up to the place of business I am at today.
My facebook page is booming with inquires and I’m even having to turn away people.
Honestly, sometimes my insecurity makes head and I feel as I’ll disappoint the world will my pictures and all my clients will cry that they didn’t get the right photographer for their family!

I’m getting a little overwhelmed, but I’m confident that it will pass as its my first real crunch time with multiple clients at once. This will only strengthen my character and work ethic…I hope.

As for social life-oh my goodness I know I set a limit for myself on my personal facebook but I can’t seem to not check it out. I feel like I’m obsessed again, and I hate that. (I can’t believe I just used the word hate, how extreme of me).
A positive thing is that I’ve been able to make headway with another facebook obsession. Friend stalking!!
There is always someone you admire and what to make friends with, but they can’t be bothered with you.
I have/had some of those. Imogene and Terry.
I felt that these people were so cool and even though they were giving me the cold shoulder I persisted to ‘try’ to be friends with them. I just knew we would get along so well, but they wouldn’t have me.
By this I mean I was the only one, seemingly, pursuing the relationships. I’m talking leaving comments and asking questions and in general being interested in them. After awhile I would notice a pattern of only my inquires, seemingly, being ignored.
My husband thought maybe I was being short sighted and that those people have too busy of a life. Maybe this is true, I’m open to that, in fact I hope (somehow) that is the case. Yet, when a person is constantly and I mean constantly on facebook and still can’t get around to being considerate to any of the many comments and inquires you make about them, then you need to learn to take the hint. Am I right?

Having a new state of mind and taking a step back has been surprisingly easy for me. Usually, the more I’m pushed away the more I try to prove myself worthy. Instead I’m trying to live by example. All that time I was seeking a relationship with Imogene and Terry because I thought they were my kind of friend I was overlooking and undercutting other possible relationships of people who were seeking me out in the same way.

What was I thinking!? Well, I’m pretty sure we’ve all been there- wanting to date the guy who doesn’t know we exist outside of helping them with their homework-wanting to be friends with the popular girl even though she’s really just a beautiful snob.

I’m starting to find confidence in myself and realize people DO like me.
Like, what was I always trying to prove? It was all right here and more then not people seem to admire and approve of me in their own way. I was just never smart enough to step into this bold, beautiful identity.
Instead, I was accepting the rejection of those few stupid people who didn’t see me for me, or my heart for them.
Their lose. And excuse me for using the adjective ‘stupid’ I suppose I’m still dealing with residual anger and hurt. Ultimately, these people were placed in my life and I can either love them as they are or reject them back.
I rather not be the petty person in the equation.
I am reminded that if I understand all mysteries and all knowledge but am without love or compassion- I’m pretty much worthless.
I want to continue on this hill of growth and want to be proud of my character and be able to stand by it as being righteous. As big of a word that is, my ultimate goal, honestly and sincerely, is kindness and righteousness. Cause when you’re righteous, you’re always right, right? ;p

Thanks for listening to my most recent update slash, slight rant. You guys really roll with my writing mood. ;)

just a funny wee picture of me in a rant

just a funny wee picture of me in a rant

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